“A good time is the most honest thing in the universe, so why do I feel like the only liar here.”
This thanksgiving is my eighteenth, during which time I’ve been mostly, oh for lack of a better word “aware” of the stress and work that goes on behind the scenes. But As I get older it seems I’m more and more aware of what goes on behind the scenes. Why is it that we put so much stock in the “perfect holiday”? A holiday that is so rediculously picture perfect that it can never be achieved. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays, the wonder and excitement of it all. The glimmering secrets we keep from each other to spring upon our friends and family on the appointed day. I love it all. Except the marketing of it all, you really can’t put a price on the spirit of the holiday, the essence of it will never be on a box or in a commercial.
I adore sleeping in on the holidays, to wake up and be surrounded by the sights and sounds of your family merrymaking. Maybe I’m not into being woken up by them, but that’s different thing ok? My family is kinda vulnerable to “holiday blues” as it were, you see my family has never had a holiday that looks like the picture on the box. It wasn’t until recently that I decided that I won’t have a generic holiday, I’m going to have MY holiday, it’s going to be different, we might not even eat the traditional meal! (I’m adding Aloo Gobi to my family’s table, go google it) What a freeing little idea that was.
Different is ok, it will never look like the picture on the package, deal with it. Love yourself and what you make.
Ah, having completed my “friday” (AKA tuesday) I am just starting to feel relaxed and chill enough to write a coherant post that can actually have some truth behind it. I will now have a full TWO days off before I go back to work!!!! Ugh I haven’t had full on weekend for months. It’s going to be so very nice. I plan on making a curried potato recipe for thanksgiving. The name escapes me but believe you me it is worth at least two “oohs” and an “ahh”.
Thinking about asking for a new chef knife for Christmas, I think it would be pretty awesome. Speaking of Christmas! I just (as in “literally within the minute”) bought my youngest sister a pair of Doc Martens from an online thrift store that I plan on cleaning up (hardcore scrub down, polish, the works) add some killer pink laces and I’m an 1/8 (give or take) of the way done with christmas shopping.
My name is Robb and this will hopefully be the first of many blog posts concerning mysef and the events, actions and feelings that alter my life. You see I struggle with depression along with some anxiety. I’m really no good explaining it to people, my tongue falters in ways my mind doesn’t. Enter the blog.
The name is partly influenced by a My Chemical Romance song and partly due to the poetry of refering to the shadows of the mind as ravenous quick-witted beasts.
This and first and foremost a filter for my thoughts, a holdingplace if you will. I hope to have this as more of an open journal, yes that means you can chime in.